The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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