Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
