I hope mine doesn't look like that
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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