He is like the real live version of the state fair..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
