I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
