Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
