Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
