I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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