Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
