All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
