Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.

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(415): View more from California

no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner

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(909): View more from California

dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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(312): View more from Illinois

sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?

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(801): View more from Utah

just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen

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(480): View more from Arizona

You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.

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