More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
