i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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