Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
nutella sex= disaster
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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