I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
