I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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