The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
