Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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