it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
