apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
