I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
