Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
