So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
