benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
