bring money and cleavage
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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