it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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