And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
