Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
