I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Your penis caused this!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
