I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
