I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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