doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
