let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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