So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I can't put those talents on a resume
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
