I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
too bad you live with your parents still
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
