This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
