Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My bed is full of blood and feathers
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
