I wanna bring you to show and tell
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
