the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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