i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Still dying that you shit outside
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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