grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
