are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think I am morally bankrupt
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
