Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
