how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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