It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
