Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And then my night got REAL pukey
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
