everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
