I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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