Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
