and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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