It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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